Greetings and salutations fellow Brain Benders!
Welcome to the inaugural edition of Brain Matters! The one stop shop for all things me. Over the next few weeks, I'll be introducing you all to more of our guest contributors once I have sent out the incriminating blackmail photos to ensure their cooperation. In the meantime, you'll have to put up with little old me. I'd like to take a moment to explain what you can expect to find in the various sections of the site. Some categories have already been created, some are still in the production stage. Basically, this site is like when a store is being renovated. Some of it works, but don't blame me if you fall off a few scaffolds.
Brain Matters: This one is pretty self evident. After all, you are reading it right now (or at least skimming it to see if there are any fun new curse words...dickwhistle!) It is my own personal blog, which will be used to keep you all updated on site business, as well as personal stuff that doesn't fit in the other categories.
Twisted Fiction: This section will be dedicated to creative writing. Can't wait to bust out my Spongebob Squarepants erotic fanfiction.
Rotting My Brain: The part of the site dedicated to all things pop culture. Anything to do with film, television, books, video games or world wide web will go here. This may include anything from news, reviews, commentaries or frankly, anything else I want to put in there.
Synapse Media (Coming Soon): This will be the place for any kind of multimedia projects we may create here. This may include podcasts and/or video content.
Headlines: A place for discussion of current events. Due to the nature of the beast, this section will likely include discussion of news, science and politics as well as other subjects that might make for awkward silence around a dinner table. You have been warned.
The Mystery Button: I suppose you could also pop over to The Mystery Button and see what Mystery Marv has queued up today. A little bit of friendly advice though, don't let him talk you into hanging out with him. If talking for hours about bean dip recipes sounds awful to you, congratulations on being sane. If talking for hours about bean dip sounds fun to you, quit reading this and get back to work Marv! Still, you may as well check out his page. The more time you spend there, the less I have to hear about his cats. I apologize in advance. He came with the site.
Anyway, when I was commissioned (ie - forced under penalty of excruciating death) by Head Office to become the Managing Editor of this site, I didn't really know what they wanted me to do with it. I had woken up in a dark room in the presence of a being which does not have a name humans are capable of pronouncing with our primitive human tongues. It seemed to be fading in and out of our reality making sounds like light sabre swooshes as it did. I decided to call the supreme being, which I guess is technically the owner of the site (kind of like Rupert Murdoch, but less evil) "Head Office" because I'm running a little crazy with head related puns and I just had a run in with an inter dimensional monstrosity so cut me a little slack will ya? It hissed a simple directive: "Entertain me, human! Prove that your kind are worth saving, lest we suck your brain out your nasal cavity and feast on your soul!"
As you can see, I was given a great deal of creative freedom when it comes to site content. Still, I didn't have any real ideas for what Headplaces would be about. It was just a name and an empty page after all and it appears that the fate of the human race rests on me being chosen as an emissary of humanity. So I figured, we're all pretty much f***ed and I might as well have a little fun with it before we get snuffed out of existence or however this thing is gonna work. Then it hit me!
I woke up several hours after it hit me. I didn't see which of Head Office's numerous gangly limbs swung the instrument which rendered me unconscious by clocking me in the temple. Kind of disappointing that a supreme being can't come up with a better way to get me back to our reality than pummeling me with a heavy object. Whatever dimension it comes from seems to have the same laws of physics as the Looney Toons. I bolted upright in my bed, heart racing and covered in what I hoped was sweat. This was curious because I could have sworn that I initially fell asleep on my couch while watching a West Wing marathon on Netflix. Had I dreamed the whole thing? Was I going mad.
I stumbled out into the living room and the screen had dimmed and showed that "Are you still watching The West Wing" message that always interrupts the flow of a good marathon. "Hell yes, I'm still watching the West Wing!", I said out loud before realizing that I was answering a question asked by an inanimate thing. "It's my favourite show!" I blurted out still not cluing in that there was no other half to this conversation taking place.
And that was when I decided on what my first subject would be. Starting next week, over at Rotting My Brain, I will begin a multi part retrospective on my favourite television show: The West Wing. What better way to show Head Office that humanity is worth saving than to present the most idealized, well written and earnest depiction of government and humanity in action. Plus walk and talks...lots of walk and talks.
So, hang on to your lids, kids! It's gonna get all Sorkin-y around here.
Until next time...don't go mindf***ing without protection.
Hi, my name is Mitch and I write things sometimes.