Canada Day and Murderous Kitties

Mystery Button July 2, 2014

Hi, everybody!
Marv here with an exciting new Mystery Button.
Hope everybody had a great Canada Day!
I had a really super excellent one, thanks for asking.
It all started when Mr. Gigglesworth, my silliest of cats, woke me up by laying on my face over my nose and mouth until the lack of oxygen rousted me from my slumber.
This is his favourite way to wake me up.
Who needs an alarm, when you have a kitty clock?
His second favourite way to wake me up is to knock over my scented candles onto the bedspread while I sleep. One time he brought one all the way from across the room and dropped it on my pillow.
I always joke with Sir Gigglesworth that he gave me sideburns because he burned both sides of my face.
Hahaha!
What a prankster that kitty is!
Then I fixed myself a nice Canada Day breakfast before heading out to the park for a walk.
A mickey of scotch and a box of donuts later and we were on our way.
I can't remember much about the rest of the day to be honest.

The vet Dr. Samuels says the prolonged oxygen deprivation and excess alcohol consumption can cause severe brain damage.
The vet Dr. Samuels says the prolonged oxygen deprivation and excess alcohol consumption can cause severe brain damage.
He also suspects Sir Gigglesworth may be trying to kill me.
I think I'm gonna find a new kitty doctor.
Dr. Samuels is a nice enough fellow but he just doesn't understand my kitties like I do.
Can you believe he also says Pickles McCatCat is a nervous wreck and Col. Fuzzyboots is dumb as a stump?
He obviously doesn't know what he's talking about. All of my kitties are in excellent health. Except for Mr. Patchy. He ran away last month. I don't know know how he's doing.
I've never seen a kitty claw a tunnel through drywall like that.
I'll have to put the rolltop desk in front of it now.

Would you like to meet my cats? Maybe you could come over this weekend? 
I have some room in my schedule. 
I'll cook dinner and everything!
Just FYI. Pick sometimes get a case of the Nervous Tinkles and his hair occasionally falls out in random places. You'll have to cover your plate but you'll eventually get used to the violent sneezing.
Oh, and don't feed Boots anything from the table. He sometimes forgets to chew, so I have to pre-masticate his food like a mama bird.

Oh, you have other plans?
That's cool. Maybe some other time?
I just remembered this weekend I have a hot date with the lady with the purple hair in 2A.
She's totally into The Marv.

Ok...well.
Hope you had a great Canada Day and whatever.
Thanks for stopping by.

May your days be filled with mystery!

                                                             -Mystery Marv